To My Dearest Rara
I know everything is hard on you too. I understand that you didn't want things to end like this. I know that the situation has changed everything, but I believe one day the situation will change again. The things you said to me were unbearable, but I know your intention wasn't to hurt me. Yet, I can't help but feel the pain.
When you told me to talk to you as a big sister, it hurt deeply. I've told you not to use those words, not even in chat, but you still did. That’s where my hurt stems from—not because you want to stop communicating, but because of those words.
I understand the challenges of living in a joint family with limited privacy and one phone. Our chats might get leaked to your family members, and I know your big sister has some issues with you. But when you call me "big sister" and ask me to talk to you like one, it cuts deep.
Despite everything, I can't deny the vibe I still get from you. I know you care for me, and that's why I can't leave you. I've fallen for you and truly love you. If you had asked me to wait, I would have. And I still will. I have time—I’m focused on my studies, and I’m not meeting new people. I will wait because I’ve never felt this way with anyone else.
Your nature, your shyness, your feelings, the way you protect and care—these are unique and undeniable. You are unique.
Never be afraid of anyone, not your sister, mother, father, or brother. You are unique, and no matter what the situation is, you have me. Remember this: whenever you need me, I will be there because I love you so much.
Every single second, I miss you. I'm hurt and angry because you told me to talk to you like a big sister. I don’t want to look into your eyes because it makes it harder to resist my feelings. In those moments, I just want to hug you tight, regardless of the situation and people. My love for you is constant, no matter how much you try to push me away. I am here for you always.
I know you feel the same way because I can feel it, I can read you, and I love you. I’m serious. That day, my eyes were filled with tears, but I had to act normal because of my mom. But inside, I wanted to run to you, kiss you, and let the world know that you are mine and I am yours in front of everyone—my parents, your parents, everyone. But I can't do that because you are still a minor. Grow up fast, reach 17 at least, and then see what I will do. I love you, but if you really don’t want it, we’ll see later.
Rara, my heart aches every time I think about the moments we shared. The way your eyes light up when you talk about your dreams, the gentle way you hold my hand when you’re nervous, and the way you always know how to make me laugh. These memories are etched in my soul, and they keep me going, even when everything seems so difficult.
I remember the first time we met, how awkward and shy we both were, yet there was an instant connection that neither of us could deny. From that moment, I knew you were special. You’ve brought so much joy and light into my life, and I am forever grateful for that.
Every day without you feels incomplete. I find myself looking at my phone, hoping to see a message from you, hoping that you’ve changed your mind. The silence is deafening, and it’s in those quiet moments that I realize just how much you mean to me. You’re not just someone I care about—you’re a part of me.
I understand the pressures you face at home, the lack of privacy, and the constant scrutiny. It breaks my heart to know that you’re dealing with so much on your own. But please, don’t shut me out. Let me be your safe space, your confidant. I want to be there for you in every possible way, to support you, to comfort you, and to love you.
It’s not just the big moments that I miss; it’s the little things too. The way you brush your hair behind your ear when you’re concentrating, the sound of your laughter, the warmth of your embrace. These small, seemingly insignificant moments are what make life beautiful, and I long to experience them with you again.
You know why I laugh? If you ever open up the curtain and look through my window, you’ll see me laughing. It means I'm reading our texts, our previous stories, because they bring me smiles. If I'm listening to a song that reminds me of you, what should I say? The smell of your hair, the feeling of your touch, the way you laugh, the way you look, the way you pick leaves, and the time when I put a flower in your hair, behind your ear—how can I forget all these moments? Can you forget all this? I think you can't, just as I can't. We can't forget it. If you tell me that you can, then you are lying. You’re lying to yourself, to me, because this is not something forgettable. I remember the way I kissed you on your cheek when I told you that I'm not important to anyone, and you said, "I don't know about others, but to me, you are important." How can I forget all those things? You might forget, but I can't. I can't forget the way you held my hand. I just can't forget it. I can't forget the time when I picked you up in my arms. I can't forget it. I can't forget when you pulled my chin up off my shawl. I can't forget it. I can't forget you. I can't forget the little gestures you made towards me. Those were love, the language of love, and you are still speaking it. I can feel you. I literally can feel you. It's hard on you too. You are suffering too. I understand. We are in this a little longer, and everything will be fine, but don't tell me that we can't be together forever because I want it to be forever. Now, if you really want it, I will never force you, but sometimes forcing still gives a great outcome. You know, first you weren't telling me whether you love me or not, but I forced. I was literally stubborn to hear the truth, and then you told me, yes, you do love me. You remember?
I want you to know that my feelings for you are real and deep. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You’ve shown me what it means to truly love someone, and for that, I am eternally grateful. No matter what happens, no matter how much time passes, my love for you will remain constant.
If you ever find yourself feeling lost or alone, remember that I am just a call or a message away. I will always be here, ready to listen, ready to support, and ready to love. You don’t have to go through this alone.
I know we have to wait, and I respect that. But please know that my heart is with you, now and always. I will cherish every moment we’ve had and look forward to the day when we can create new memories together. Until then, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, hoping for your happiness and well-being.
Situation are temporary baby girl but feeling for the person we love is constant. To be with that person to spend the life with that same person is what we actually want and crave. I wanna be your permanent person. I'm not joking I'm serious from the 1st place.
Does your sister talking to you properly now cause you aren't with me now?? If yes then I'm fine with it, the distance won't be hurt that much I will be at ease that she is being nice to you But if not then what else she wants?? We are already not being together then why is she not being nice to you now? Wasn't I the main problem cause I felt that way only. Give yourself a good time to analysis it.
But always remember, You are my heart, my soul, my everything. I love you, Rara, with all that I am and all that I will ever be. Never forget that. Yeah you are VIP to me, my very important person. Willing to meet you soon whenever you are comfortable. I arms are always open for you, to hold you close, to protect you, to love you.
With all my love,
Ira
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