Are You Living for Yourself or for Them? The Truth That Will Set You Free

 

What If You Were Never Meant to Fit In? A Wake-Up Call for Dreamers

The Cage and the Sky – An Awakening

~Bandana

They whisper in soft voices,
“This is the way, child, this is the only way.”
They pave a road, brick by brick,
And call it destiny, call it honor,
Call it the only thing worth walking for.

They hand me a script, old and worn,
Passed down through generations,
A script I never wrote, never signed,
But one they place in my hands as law.

“You will walk this path, like we did.”
“You will carry our dreams, like we carried theirs.”
“You will not question, you will not falter.”
“This is life, this is success, this is what you were born for.”

But what if my feet ache from walking a road that isn’t mine?
What if my hands tremble,
Not out of weakness,
But out of the unbearable weight of borrowed dreams?

They dress up chains in silk and diamonds,
Call it respect, call it duty.
They wrap expectations around my soul,
Like vines around a tree,
So tight that I can barely breathe.

And I wonder—what if I had been born in the wild?
What if I had never learned to shrink myself,
To fold my wings neatly behind my back,
To smile when I wanted to scream?

What if I had never been told,
That love must be earned,
That freedom is selfish,
That questioning is rebellion?

Would I still fear the sky?
Would I still hesitate at the edge,
Looking down at the world that calls my name,
But never stepping forward?

Tell me, if a bird is born in a cage,
Does it know it has wings?
Does it dream of the wind?
Or does it only know the hands that feed it,
The bars that define its world,
The voices that tell it, “Stay.”

But what if—one day—the door is left open?
What if the wind whispers, “Come.”
What if the sky stretches its arms wide,
And the fire in my heart burns brighter than my fear?

Would they call me foolish?
Would they say, “Ungrateful child, look at what you left behind.”
Would they cry, watching me soar,
Or would they build a stronger cage for the next?

They tell me, “You will be forgotten.”
That no one remembers those who walk alone,
That the world only cherishes the obedient,
That I will be nothing if I choose my own way.

And maybe they’re right.
Maybe my name will fade in the passing winds.
Maybe history will never write me down.
Maybe the echoes of my laughter will be lost in time.

But tell me—does it matter?
Does it matter if I am forgotten,
As long as I lived?
As long as I burned with the fire of my own soul,
As long as I tasted the sky,
As long as I knew, if only for a moment—
That I was free?

So today, I choose the sky.
I choose the unknown, the vast, the terrifying.
I choose to walk away from the script I never wrote.
I choose to create, to burn, to build,
To carve my own path with my own hands.

And to you, who stand at the edge,
Staring at the open door,
Wondering if there is more beyond the bars—
There is.

The wind is calling.
The sky is waiting.
Will you fly?

What If You Stopped Living for Others and Started Living for Yourself?

 

The Weight of Expectations vs. The Fire of Passion

There comes a time in life when you stand at a crossroads. One path is paved, well-lit, and wide. It is the path everyone expects you to take—the one society has built brick by brick, reinforced by generations before you. The other path is unmarked, filled with uncertainty, winding through unknown lands. It is the path of your heart, your dreams, your truth.

And here I stand, staring at both.

I have made up my mind.

I will be a researcher. I will be a biotechnologist. I will build something new, something that doesn’t just follow the footsteps of those before me but creates a path where none existed before. But the world around me—especially my parents—see only one path worth walking: the path of a doctor.

“A doctor is a noble profession,” they say.
“A doctor has status.”
“A doctor makes money.”
“A doctor is respected.”
“A doctor gives you a good life.”

And behind all these words, I hear the unspoken ones—
“A doctor makes us proud.”
“A doctor gives us something to boast about.”
“A doctor makes people envious of us.”

And so, their dream was born. She will be a doctor. Our daughter will be a doctor.

But will being a doctor buy my soul? Will it nourish me, complete me, fulfill the fire inside me?

I don’t think so.

The Conflict Inside Me

I won’t lie to myself. Once, I did dream of becoming a doctor. As a child, I admired the white coat, the stethoscope around the neck, the image of saving lives. It was a dream woven into me from a young age. I grew up thinking that to help people, to make a difference, I had to be a doctor.

But something inside me changed. Maybe I grew up. Maybe I discovered a part of myself I never understood before. Maybe the passion I thought I had for medicine was simply borrowed from the expectations of those around me.

Because now, when I think about my future, my mind doesn’t rush to an operation theatre or a hospital room filled with patients. Instead, I see something different.

I see a laboratory filled with possibilities. I see petri dishes, microscopes, chemical reactions waiting to be understood. I see papers scattered with ideas, formulas, notes, failed experiments leading to breakthroughs. I see creation. Innovation. A space where my mind is free to roam, to think beyond the ordinary, to challenge the very laws of nature itself.

That is where my heart lies.

If becoming a doctor truly called to me, I would have already been in medical school. I would have never abandoned that path. I would have fought, sacrificed, and endured anything to achieve it. But I didn’t. I chose to step away.

And that choice speaks volumes.

The Burden of Expectations

Parents always want the best for their children. But sometimes, their version of “best” is shaped by their own desires, their own experiences, their own unfulfilled dreams.

My parents see the medical profession as the ultimate achievement. In their eyes, success is a big house, money, a reputation, a career that demands admiration. They want me to have a life where people whisper my name in awe—“She became a doctor. Her parents must be so proud.”

But does that really mean success?

Does success mean waking up every day to a job that doesn’t ignite my soul?
Does success mean following a path that isn’t truly mine, just because it’s secure?
Does success mean living a life that looks perfect on the outside, while something inside me withers away?

I don’t think so.

I have never been someone who wants to be admired just for the sake of admiration. I don’t care if people are jealous of my success. I don’t want my achievements to be measured by how much money I make or how many people praise my name.

I want my success to be measured by impact. By creation. By doing something that changes the world, no matter how big or small.

Doctors save lives—there is no doubt about that. But researchers create the future. Researchers build the medicine that doctors prescribe. Researchers develop the treatments, the vaccines, the discoveries that transform humanity itself.

And that is what I want.

The Fear of Choosing Myself

But walking away from expectations is not easy.

I would be lying if I said I don’t feel the fear. Fear of disappointing my parents. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear that, years from now, I might regret it.

What if my parents are right?
What if I fail?
What if research isn’t as fulfilling as I imagine?

But then, I ask myself—what if I’m right?

What if I follow my passion and build something extraordinary?
What if I wake up every morning excited, not just existing, but truly living?
What if I create something that changes the lives of millions, something no one else would have created if I hadn’t followed my heart?

And most importantly—what if I die knowing I lived for myself, not for the approval of others?

That thought is enough to silence my fears.

Because no matter what, I know this:

I would rather fail at something I love than succeed at something that makes me feel empty.

No One Remembers a Shadow

Three generations from now, no one will remember whether I was a doctor, a researcher, or something else entirely.

History doesn’t remember those who simply followed the rules. It remembers those who broke them. Those who challenged them. Those who created their own definitions of success.

Newton, Galileo, Einstein, Marie Curie—did they chase fame? Did they follow paths dictated to them? No. They pursued knowledge. They followed the fire inside them, no matter the cost. And because of that, the world remembers them.

I don’t want to be another name lost in the cycle of time, forgotten like a shadow fading into the past.

I want to leave something behind. Something that matters.

I want to build, innovate, and create.

And if I ever do become a doctor, it won’t be because society expected it of me. It will be because I chose it for myself.

To Anyone Standing at the Crossroads

If you are standing at the edge of expectation and passion, I want you to pause for a moment. Breathe. Forget the voices in your head—the voices of your parents, your relatives, your teachers, your society. Forget what they told you about what success looks like, what happiness should be, what a good life means.

For once, listen only to yourself.

Ask yourself—what do I want?

Not what my parents want.
Not what my friends think is cool.
Not what will make me look successful.

What do I want, deep in my soul?

This is the moment that defines everything.

We are born into a world that tries to shape us before we even understand who we are. From the moment we take our first breath, expectations are placed upon us.

“Be this.”
“Do that.”
“This is the right way.”
“That is the wrong way.”
“Follow this path, and you will be happy.”

But what if happiness is not where they say it is? What if the path they built for you leads to nothing but emptiness?

I say this because I understand.

I have been there. I have been the child who tried to fit into a dream that wasn’t hers. I have been the daughter who wanted to make her parents proud. I have been the person who thought that following the right path would lead to fulfillment.

But I have also been the girl who woke up.

I woke up to the realization that no amount of approval, admiration, or applause will ever fill the void of an unlived life.

I woke up to the truth that the only person who will walk with me until my last breath is myself. And if I betray her now—if I silence her, ignore her, force her into a box she does not fit in—then I will die with regrets that no amount of success can erase.

So I am choosing myself.

I am choosing my truth, my passion, my fire.
I am choosing to disappoint others rather than betray myself.
I am choosing to break the mold, to challenge the norm, to carve my own way.
I am choosing a future that excites me, not just one that looks good to others.
I am choosing to be the person I was meant to be, not the person I was told to be.

And I want you to choose yourself too.

Because no one else will.

Why Am I Saying All This?

I am saying all this because I know how it feels to doubt yourself.

I know how it feels to be at war with your own dreams because they don’t align with what the world expects of you.
I know how it feels to question whether you’re being foolish, whether you’re throwing away something good for something uncertain.
I know how it feels to crave validation, to want someone to tell you, “Yes, you are making the right choice.”

But here’s the thing—no one can give you that validation.
No one can tell you which choice is right.
No one can promise you that choosing yourself will be easy.

But I can promise you this—choosing yourself will always be worth it.

The world will try to convince you otherwise.
People will guilt-trip you, tell you that you’re being selfish, that you don’t understand what’s best for you.
They will try to scare you into following the safe path, the predictable path, the path that society recognizes as “successful.”

But let me ask you—

What is the point of success if it feels like a prison?

What is the point of having everything, if you feel nothing?

How Am I Choosing Myself?

I am choosing myself by walking away from a future that looks perfect on paper but feels wrong in my heart.

I am choosing myself by letting go of the fear that I will disappoint my parents. Because even if I follow their dream, there will always be a part of me that resents them for it. And that resentment will be far more painful than their temporary disappointment.

I am choosing myself by trusting that my passion is not random—it is purposeful. The things that excite me, the things that call to me, the things that make me feel alive—they exist for a reason. They are clues, guiding me toward what I am meant to do.

I am choosing myself by realizing that no one else is living my life but me. And that means no one else gets to decide how I live it.

What Is Helping Me Choose Myself?

1. The Truth That No One Remembers a Shadow
   People think they want to be remembered, but the truth is, most of us will be forgotten. Three generations from now, no one will know my name unless I do something worth remembering. And the only way to do that is to follow what sets me apart, not what makes me blend in.
2. The Understanding That Approval Is Temporary
   I could become a doctor tomorrow, and my parents would be proud. But pride fades. Approval is fleeting. And then what? I will be left with a life I don’t love, while they move on to other concerns.
3. The Knowledge That Regret Is Worse Than Fear
   I am scared. I am scared of failing, scared of making the wrong choice, scared of the unknown. But regret? Regret is worse. Regret is a slow poison, a weight you carry every single day, a voice in the back of your head whispering, What if? I would rather take the risk than live with that voice haunting me forever.
4. The Fire Inside Me That Won’t Be Silenced
   No matter how much pressure I feel, no matter how much doubt creeps in, I know that my soul is restless for a reason. And I refuse to silence it.

To You, Standing at the Crossroads

If you are reading this, if you are standing at your own crossroads, I want you to know that you are not alone.

I see you.
I hear you.
I understand you.

And I want to tell you something no one else might—

You are allowed to choose yourself.

You are allowed to want something different.
You are allowed to walk away from expectations.
You are allowed to build a life that makes sense only to you.

And yes, it will be hard. Yes, you will doubt yourself. Yes, you will have moments where you wonder if you should have just followed the safe path.

But the moment you choose yourself—the moment you take that first step toward your truth—
You will feel something you have never felt before.

Freedom.

Not the kind of freedom that comes from escaping responsibilities,
But the kind that comes from standing in your own power,
From knowing that you are finally, finally living for yourself.

And that, my love, is a kind of success no amount of money, fame, or approval can ever match.

So I ask you one final time—

Will you choose yourself?