Because He Was Her Lotus
There are some people in life whose impact is so profound that their presence and influence remain, even when they are no longer physically present. He was that person for her. From the moment their paths crossed, he became an integral part of her life, and no matter what happens, she knows that she will always love him. Even seventy years from now, when time has weathered their faces and memories may have faded, her feelings for him will remain unchanged because she loved him truly, with all her heart.
Their bond was a bittersweet tapestry of emotions and experiences, woven together by moments of intense joy and deep sorrow. Loving him was not without its challenges. He had many faults that tested her patience and resilience. He was often ignorant of her feelings, keeping her waiting and not informing her of his whereabouts. These actions kept her awake at night, worrying about what he was doing and why he wasn't more considerate of her concerns. Despite knowing how much his behavior hurt her, he continued to act in ways that caused her pain.
She spent countless nights staring at the ceiling, replaying their conversations in her mind. The uncertainty gnawed at her, eroding her peace of mind. She remembered the times he promised to call but didn't, the nights she stayed up late hoping to hear his voice, only to be met with silence. It wasn't just the waiting that hurt—it was the feeling of being forgotten, of not being important enough to merit a simple message. She often wondered if she was asking for too much, if her expectations were unrealistic. But deep down, she knew that wanting to feel valued and loved wasn't too much to ask.
But she was not without fault either. There were times when her actions hurt him, and for those, she always tried to apologize and make amends. She endeavored to avoid repeating the same mistakes, but it often seemed like he didn't make the same effort. His actions could be infuriating, and being a girl, her moods were sometimes mercurial. She craved the kind of attention and care that she saw other girlfriends receiving from their boyfriends. She wanted to be treated like a baby, to have him shower her with assurances and love.
She understood, though, that everyone is different, and not everyone can be the ideal partner. He had a past, a former love whom he cared for deeply, but who left him to marry someone else. Perhaps this heartbreak was why he became so reserved, capricious, and inconsistent. He struggled to open up and often kept to himself, which frustrated her. She tried to understand him, to be patient and supportive, but it seemed that no matter how hard she tried, he would revert to his old ways, pushing her away.
She often found herself caught between understanding his pain and feeling her own. She knew that his previous relationship had left deep scars, making him wary of getting too close, too attached. She tried to be the healing presence in his life, the person who could show him that love didn't always have to end in heartbreak. But her efforts were met with resistance. He built walls around his heart, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't break through them. She could see glimpses of his true self, the vulnerable man beneath the facade, but those moments were fleeting, disappearing as quickly as they appeared.
Their love was a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. They shared beautiful moments that made her heart soar, but they also faced complications that tested their bond. One day, things came to a head. They had an argument, and instead of working through their issues, he hung up on her. This abrupt end to their conversation felt like a knife through her heart. He knew how much she needed closure, how important it was for her to resolve their problems, yet he chose to avoid them, and in doing so, he avoided her.
That moment shattered her. She felt hurt, betrayed, and more alone than ever. Despite the pain, she couldn't stop loving him. He was the one for her, and her heart couldn't let go, even when her mind knew that nothing was likely to change. She tried to move on, to love others, but it was impossible to forget the memories they shared. She kept searching for him in other people, but no one could compare to the unique bond they had.
Even with all his flaws—his ignorance, his inconsideration, his tendency to run away from problems—she loved him. He would keep her waiting, not communicate, and hurt her, yet her love for him remained steadfast. She knew he was scared, perhaps too scared to take responsibility and face the reality of their relationship. But despite everything, she appreciated him. She cherished the sweet, charming moments they had, the times when he would kiss her through the phone, sending shivers down her spine and making her heart race.
When he whispered her name in his sleepy, low-pitched voice, it was a sensation she can't describe. It felt like her heart would explode with joy, and she was transported to another world where only they existed. Their conversations made time stand still, and she felt his presence beside her, even when they were miles apart. She could sense his warmth, his touch, as if he were hugging her tightly, playing with her hair, and giggling with her. In those moments, it felt like their souls had reunited, never to part again.
Even though they aren't together now, she will always cherish the memories they made. She will keep loving him in her heart, and maybe, if it's meant to be, they will find their way back to each other. Until then, she will stay single, holding on to the love they shared and focusing on herself. She will build her own strength, take care of those who truly care for her, and love herself for who she is.
She often reminisced about the little things that made their relationship special. The way he looked at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of love and mischief. The late-night conversations that stretched into the early hours of the morning, where they talked about everything and nothing. The comfort of knowing that, at least for a time, she had someone who understood her in ways no one else did. These memories were her solace, her anchor, in times when the loneliness felt overwhelming.
If he ever comes back into her life, she will guard her heart closely. She won't let him in easily unless he shows that he has truly changed. She won't go through the same heartbreak again. If he is sure that she is the one for him and is willing to give her his best, to work through their problems together, then maybe they can reunite. But it has to be as a team, not as individuals. They have to love each other endlessly and support each other through every challenge.
She imagined what it would be like if he returned, if he knocked on her heart with an apology and a promise to be better. She would look into his eyes, searching for signs of sincerity, of genuine change. She would want to believe him, to open her heart once more, but she knew it wouldn't be easy. Trust once broken is hard to rebuild. She would need proof, consistent actions showing that he was ready to be the partner she deserved. Only then could they begin to mend what was broken and build something stronger, something lasting.
If he can't do that, then she will continue to love him from a distance, remembering the sweet moments and letting go of the pain. She will stay true to herself and her feelings, and she will never forget the love they shared. Because he was her lotus, the person who taught her about resilience, beauty, and the power of true love. Even seventy years from now, she will look back and know that her love for him was real and that it never faded, no matter how hard she tried to move on.
Their relationship was a testament to the highs and lows of love, the complexities of human emotions, and the strength it takes to hold on and to let go. She will always be grateful for the lessons he taught her and the love he gave her, even if it wasn't perfect. And though they may be apart, her love for him will remain, a constant in her heart, forever.
She often wondered what he was doing, where life had taken him. Did he think about her as often as she thought about him? Did he regret the way things ended, or was he content with his decisions? These questions haunted her, lingering in the back of her mind. But she knew that some questions might never be answered, and she had to find peace with that. Her love for him was a part of her, a piece of her soul that would never fade, no matter how much time passed.
Even as she tried to move forward, to build a life without him, she couldn't help but compare everyone she met to him. She searched for glimpses of him in others, hoping to find the same connection, the same spark. But no one measured up. No one could fill the void he left in her heart. It was a constant struggle, a battle between wanting to move on and being unable to let go of the past. She realized that she might never find another love like theirs, and she had to learn to live with that.
Her Mother often told her that time heals all wounds, that eventually, she would forget him and find happiness with someone else. But she knew better. Some loves are too profound, too deep to ever truly fade. They become a part of you, shaping who you are and how you see the world. He was her lotus, her guiding light, even in his absence. And she knew that no matter how many years passed, her love for him would remain, unwavering and eternal.
So, she continued to live her life, carrying the memories of their time together close to her heart. She poured herself into her passions, finding solace in the things that brought her joy. She surrounded herself with herself, God and family who loved her unconditionally, finding strength in their support. She pursued her dreams with a fervor that surprised even herself, determined to build a fulfilling life despite the lingering ache of his absence.
Every now and then, she would find herself lost in thought, reminiscing about the moments they shared. She remembered their first date, the way he looked at her with a mix of nervousness and excitement. She remembered the laughter they shared, the private jokes that no one else understood. She remembered the way he held her when she was sad through 4 Dimension, his embrace a safe haven from the world. These memories were bittersweet, a reminder of what once was and what could never be again.
She often visited the places that held special meaning for them, walking the memories they once walked together. She found comfort in these familiar surroundings, as if their presence lingered in the air. She would sit in their favorite spot that's Bank of ganges sipping water and watching the world go by, imagining what it would be like if he were there with her. These moments were both a comfort and a torment, a way to keep his memory alive while also feeling the pain of his absence.
As the days passed, she grew wiser and more introspective. She reflected on their relationship, understanding it more deeply with the passage of time. She realized that their love, despite its flaws, had been a powerful force in her life. It had taught her about resilience, about the strength it takes to love deeply and unconditionally. It had shown her the beauty of vulnerability, of opening her heart even when it was risky. And it had taught her about acceptance, about understanding that some things are beyond her control.
She learned to appreciate the lessons their relationship had imparted. She became more compassionate, more understanding of others' flaws and imperfections. She carried the love they shared as a beacon, a reminder that she was capable of loving deeply and being loved in return. This realization gave her a sense of peace, a quiet confidence that she could navigate the challenges of life with grace and strength.
There were moments when she wished things had turned out differently, when she longed for the life they could have had together. She imagined growing old with him, sharing their dreams and building a future together. But she also knew that their journey had been exactly what it needed to be. Their time together, though brief, had left an indelible mark on her soul. It had shaped her into the person she was, and for that, she was grateful.
In her quieter moments, she wrote letters to him, letters she would never send. She poured her heart onto the pages, expressing the things she wished she could tell him. She wrote about her dreams, her fears, and the moments that reminded her of him. Writing these letters was a cathartic process, a way to keep their connection alive even in his absence. She kept these letters in a box, a treasured collection of her deepest thoughts and feelings.
She also found solace in helping others, using her experiences to offer support and guidance. She encouraged them to love fearlessly, to embrace their vulnerabilities, and to find strength in their own resilience. She found joy in seeing them grow and flourish, knowing that she was making a positive impact on their lives.
Despite the passage of time, her love for him never waned. It remained a constant, a steady pulse in her heart. She accepted that this love was a part of her, something that would stay with her always. It was a testament to the depth of their connection, a bond that transcended time and distance. She knew that even if they never saw each other again, he would always hold a special place in her heart.
She also allowed herself to dream about the possibility of a reunion, of a time when they might find their way back to each other. She imagined what it would be like to see him again, to feel his arms around her, to hear his voice whispering her name. These dreams gave her hope, a glimmer of light in the darkness. She held onto the belief that if it was meant to be, they would find their way back to each other.
Until that day came, she focused on living her life to the fullest. She traveled to new places, experiencing the beauty and wonder of the world. She pursued her passions with a renewed vigor, finding fulfillment in her work and hobbies. She built deep, meaningful relationships with those around her, creating a support network that uplifted and inspired her. She embraced every moment, knowing that life was too precious to waste on regrets.
Even as she moved forward, she never forgot the love they shared. It was a part of her, woven into the fabric of her being. It was a source of strength, a reminder that she was capable of loving deeply and being loved in return. It was a beacon that guided her through the challenges of life, illuminating her path and giving her hope.
She continued to dream about the future, holding onto the possibility of a reunion. She imagined the day when they might find each other again, when they could finally resolve their differences and build a life together. She knew that this dream might never come true, but it gave her hope and kept her going. It was a reminder that love, true love, never truly fades.
In the meantime, she lived her life with grace and resilience, carrying the love they shared as a treasured memory. She found joy in the little things, in the moments of beauty and wonder that life offered. She embraced every opportunity, knowing that each experience was a chance to grow and learn. She lived with an open heart, ready to embrace whatever the future held.
Even seventy years from now, she would look back on their time together with fondness and gratitude. She would remember the highs and lows, the laughter and tears, the moments of joy and sorrow. She would cherish the lessons their relationship had taught her, the strength it had given her, and the love that would always be a part of her.
She knew that true love was rare, a precious gift that not everyone was fortunate enough to experience. She was grateful for the time they had shared, for the memories that would stay with her forever. She accepted that their journey had been exactly what it needed to be, and she found peace in that acceptance.
And so, she continued to live her life, carrying the love they shared as a beacon of hope and strength. She knew that no matter what the future held, she would always carry a piece of him in her heart. Their love was a testament to the power of connection, the beauty of vulnerability, and the resilience of the human spirit. It was a love that would never fade, a love that would stay with her always, a love that she would carry with her, forever and always.
There are people in our lives who leave a lasting imprint on our hearts, individuals whose presence becomes so entwined with our own existence that imagining life without them feels almost impossible. He is one such person for her. Someone she have loved the most, someone whose impact on her life has been profound and enduring.
His name, which means "lotus," carries a depth of meaning that resonates deeply with her. The lotus, a symbol of beauty and resilience, growing in muddy waters yet emerging untainted and pure, perfectly encapsulates the role he played in her life. Their relationship wasn't always easy. It was marked by its fair share of challenges and complexities, yet it was also filled with moments of profound connection and growth.
Loving him taught her the importance of resilience. Through their time together, she learned to navigate the murky waters of life's difficulties, much like the lotus that thrives despite its challenging environment. He showed her that true beauty and strength come from enduring and overcoming these struggles, emerging stronger and more resilient.
Even in his absence, his influence lingers. There are days when she find herself imagining a life without him, a life that feels incomplete and hollow. Yet, it is in these moments of imagining that she realize the extent of his impact on her. His presence, his love, and the lessons he imparted continue to shape who she is, guiding her through the complexities of life even now.
He was not just a figure of emotional support; he was a catalyst for her personal growth. His unique perspective on life, his ability to face challenges head-on, and his unwavering resilience inspired her to do the same. While he may not have led her to spiritual enlightenment, he provided her with a framework for emotional growth, teaching her to embrace life's imperfections and find beauty within them.
Their relationship, though not perfect, was a testament to the power of love and resilience. He showed her that growth often comes from the most unexpected places and that even the most challenging relationships can teach them valuable lessons. His influence has been a constant source of strength for her, reminding her that she is capable of enduring and thriving despite life's difficulties.
Because he was her lotus, his presence in her life has been a source of inspiration and growth. His name, symbolizing resilience and beauty, is a perfect reflection of the impact he has had on her. Even though she is now learning to navigate life without him, his influence remains a guiding light, helping her to rise above challenges and find strength within herself.
In acknowledging his significance, she recognize that every person we love deeply leaves an indelible mark on our hearts. He will always be a significant part of her story, a reminder of the power of love and the beauty of resilience. His presence, both past and present, continues to shape her journey, making him an irreplaceable and cherished part of her life.
~ARVANA
**From Moonlight to Sunshine **
I remember when we talked under the moonlight,
Late nights, losing track of time, felt so right,
From moonlight to sunlight, nights turned to years,
Now you're gone, and I'm left with my tears.
Though you're gone, love won't fade away,
I'll cherish every moment, every day,
They call it toxic, this love from afar,
But I'll hold onto you, wherever you are.
In the quiet of the night, I hear your voice,
In the laughter of the past, I find no choice,
To let go of the dreams we once had,
Though it's madness, it doesn't feel so bad.
I won't let you back into my heart,
You broke it once, tore it apart,
You need to prove, to show me the way,
That our future is bright, come what may.
Though you're gone, love won't fade away,
I'll cherish every moment, every day,
They call it toxic, this love from afar,
But I'll hold onto you, wherever you are.
They say move on, find another light,
But how can I, when you feel so right?
In the shadows of my mind, you'll always stay,
Even if it means I'm lost along the way.
Seventy years could pass, and still I'll be,
Loving you, even if it's just a memory,
You need to prove yourself, show me it's true,
That we can have a future, me and you.
Though you're gone, love won't fade away,
I'll cherish every moment, every day,
They call it toxic, this love from afar,
But I'll hold onto you, wherever you are.
Am I wrong to love you, to feel this way?
Let them call it crazy, let them say,
This is me, this is us, this is my truth,
I'll always love you, for all my youth.
**Eternal Nights, Endless Love**
{A SONG DEDICATED TO HIM}
BTW I wrote this song while watching the Moon [**Moonlit Melodies: A Love's Lament**]
Ahhh so much of love 😍
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