Escaping Reality: My Sanctuary of Imagination and Faith in Krishna and Me.

 I love to live in my imagination because reality is so, so, so much worse than I could ever imagine. It’s not that I'm disconnected from reality; I’m here, breathing, existing in this world. That’s the undeniable truth: I’m living, and surviving, just like everyone else. But survival in reality feels like a struggle when the people around me are so toxic. They claim to be open-minded, but it’s all a facade. The moment I do anything, they judge me despite their proclamations of open-mindedness. Being truly open-minded means not judging others and accepting things as they are. Yet, these so-called open-minded people don't live up to their words. Reality is harsh, filled with hypocrisy and judgment, making it a place where I can barely survive. My existence is real, that's the inescapable truth. But I find solace in my imagination because it offers an escape from the bleakness of reality. Reality may suck, but within my imagination, I can create a world where I truly belong, away from the pretense and judgment of those around me.

Imagination is my sanctuary, a place where I am free to explore, create, and be my authentic self without fear of criticism or judgment. In my imagination, I can be whoever I want to be, do whatever I want to do, and experience a life unbounded by the harsh realities that surround me. It’s a world where my dreams and desires come to life, where my thoughts and feelings are validated, and where I am understood. Unlike the real world, my imagination is a place of endless possibilities and boundless freedom. It's a refuge from the toxicity and superficiality of those who pretend to understand but never truly do.

The toxicity of people around me is stifling. They wear masks of open-mindedness, yet their actions betray their true nature. They are quick to judge, quick to criticize, and slow to understand. They say they are open-minded, but they don’t even grasp what it means. Open-mindedness is about accepting people as they are, embracing differences, and withholding judgment. Yet, the very people who preach these values are the first to condemn me when I step out of their narrow definitions of normalcy. Their hypocrisy is suffocating, and it makes reality a place where I feel constantly under siege, constantly defending my right to be myself.

Living in such an environment takes a toll on my mental and emotional well-being. It’s exhausting to always be on guard, to always have to justify my existence. It feels like I am living under a microscope, every move scrutinized, every word dissected. The pressure to conform, to fit into the molds that others have created for me, is relentless. It’s in these moments of suffocation that my imagination becomes my savior. It’s a parallel universe where I am free from the judgments and expectations of others. It’s where I can breathe, think, and feel without the weight of the world pressing down on me.

Imagination is not just an escape; it’s a lifeline. It’s what keeps me sane in a world that often feels insane. It’s what allows me to dream of a better future, to envision a life where I am accepted and loved for who I am, not for who others want me to be. In my imagination, I find the courage to be myself, to embrace my uniqueness, and to reject the toxic judgments of those who pretend to be open-minded. It’s a place where I am whole, where every part of me is acknowledged and cherished.

This imagined world is vivid and real to me. It’s not a mere daydream but a parallel existence where I can explore the depths of my soul. Here, my creativity knows no bounds. I can build castles in the air, traverse uncharted territories, and engage in adventures that are impossible in the mundane reality. It’s a world painted with the colors of my thoughts, illuminated by the light of my dreams, and inhabited by characters that embody different facets of my personality. In this realm, I find clarity, peace, and a sense of purpose that eludes me in the real world.

People often misunderstand the value of imagination. They see it as an escape, a way to avoid facing reality. But for me, it’s much more than that. It’s a space of healing and growth. It’s where I can process my experiences, reflect on my emotions, and find solutions to the challenges I face. My imagination is a therapeutic landscape where I can engage in introspection, unraveling the complexities of my mind and heart. It’s a place where I can confront my fears, explore my desires, and understand myself on a deeper level.

Living in my imagination doesn’t mean I am disconnected from reality. I am very much aware of the world around me, of its demands and expectations. I fulfill my responsibilities, interact with people, and navigate the complexities of daily life. But my imagination provides a balance, a counterweight to the heaviness of reality. It’s a source of strength that empowers me to face the world with resilience and courage. It’s a reminder that there is more to life than the judgments and limitations imposed by others.

The truth is, everyone needs an escape sometimes. Everyone needs a space where they can be themselves without fear of judgment. For some, it’s a hobby, a passion, or a place. For me, it’s my imagination. It’s a sanctuary that protects me from the toxicity of the world, a place where I can recharge and find solace. It’s a realm where I am free to be my true self, unencumbered by the harsh realities of life. And in this imagined world, I find the strength to keep going, to keep living, and to keep dreaming.

In conclusion, my imagination is not just an escape from reality; it’s a vital part of my existence. It’s a space where I can heal, grow, and thrive despite the challenges of the real world. It’s where I find the freedom to be myself, the strength to face reality, and the courage to dream of a better future. The toxicity and hypocrisy of those around me make reality a harsh and unforgiving place. But in my imagination, I find a world where I am understood, accepted, and loved. It’s a world where I can truly belong, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

In reality, people often say that they love me, that they totally love me, and that they will never leave me. But in reality, they end up hurting me. No matter how much I tell them, "Please don't do this, don't do that, I love this, I like that," they always seem to do the opposite. And when I finally speak up for myself, they turn around and accuse me of not loving them anymore. What the fuck, man? Why do people say these things? I have told them a thousand times what I like and what I don't like. I am willing to make adjustments, to compromise for the sake of the relationship. But why am I always the one who has to make all the adjustments? Why is it that my needs and preferences are always pushed aside?

It feels like I am constantly bending over backward to accommodate them, yet when I ask for the same consideration in return, it's as if I am asking for too much. This isn't how relationships are supposed to work. Relationships are about mutual understanding, respect, and compromise. If I am adjusting for you, then you should be willing to adjust for me too. That's what a healthy relationship looks like. But nowadays, it seems like people only care about themselves. They don't give a damn about what others think or what others are going through. They are so self-centered, so mean, so unbelievably mean. I can't even put into words how mean they are. It's like they live in their own little worlds where only their feelings and desires matter.

When I try to express my feelings, they turn it around and make me feel guilty for having needs and desires of my own. They manipulate the situation to make it seem like I am the one being unreasonable, like I am the one who doesn't care. It's infuriating and disheartening. It makes me question my own worth and my place in their lives. If they truly loved me, wouldn't they care about my happiness too? Wouldn't they make an effort to meet me halfway? But instead, I am left feeling unheard, unappreciated, and unloved.

This constant cycle of giving and adjusting, only to be met with disregard and selfishness, is exhausting. It drains me emotionally and mentally. It makes me question the authenticity of their love and the sincerity of their words. How can someone claim to love you and yet consistently disregard your feelings and needs? It feels like a betrayal, like they are only saying the words but not living up to them.

It’s heartbreaking to realize that the people you care about, the ones you thought cared about you, are so wrapped up in their own needs that they can’t see the harm they are causing. They fail to understand that love is not just about words; it’s about actions. It’s about showing up for each other, listening, and making an effort to understand and accommodate each other’s needs. True love is a two-way street, not a one-sided arrangement where one person does all the giving and the other all the taking.

This experience has made me wary of trusting people. It has made me build walls around my heart to protect myself from getting hurt again. I have learned that not everyone who says they love you truly means it. Their actions speak louder than their words, and unfortunately, their actions often reveal a different, less loving reality. 

In the end, it makes me retreat further into my imagination, where I can create a world that is kinder and more understanding. A world where people truly mean it when they say they love you, and where actions align with words. In my imagination, I am not constantly battling for consideration and respect. Instead, I am in a place where mutual love, respect, and understanding are the norms. It’s a stark contrast to the harsh reality where people’s selfishness and hypocrisy leave me feeling isolated and unvalued.

When I'm loving a person and they can't love me back, and it's always an oscillation, it's better for me to live in my own imagination. In my imagination, I find solace and comfort, away from the unreciprocated feelings and constant emotional turmoil. I don't need others to think about me or care for me. I'm here for myself, and I choose to live in my own imagination because it's what’s best for me and possibly even for others. They don't need to worry about me, and I don't need to worry about them. It allows everyone to focus on their own lives, to be their authentic selves without the burden of unfulfilled expectations.

In this self-created world, I can be truly myself, free from the judgment and rejection that so often accompany real-world interactions. It's a space where I don't have to compromise my self-existence, where I don't have to constantly negotiate my worth or my place in someone else's life. I am existing fully in my imagination because reality offers no place where I feel genuinely seen or valued. This self-imposed isolation is not about giving up on real connections, but about protecting my emotional well-being until I find someone who truly appreciates me and whom I can truly appreciate.

Living in my imagination allows me to work on myself, to grow and understand my own needs and desires without the constant distraction of unreciprocated love and misunderstanding. It's a form of self-care, a way to ensure that I am not continually hurt by the expectations and actions of others who cannot or will not reciprocate my feelings. Until I find someone who values me for who I am, this retreat into my imagination is the best way to maintain my emotional health.

This doesn’t mean that I have completely abandoned the idea of forming meaningful connections in the real world. Instead, it's a way to preserve my sense of self and to protect my heart until such connections become possible. In my imagination, I can create a reality where mutual respect and appreciation are foundational, where I am not constantly giving without receiving. It's a place where I can envision a future that aligns with my deepest desires and values, without the immediate pressures and disappointments of real-world relationships.

In this imaginary realm, I can build a relationship with myself, fostering self-love and self-respect. It's a critical step towards finding and forming healthier, more balanced relationships in the future. By focusing on myself and my needs, I am preparing myself for the day when a genuine connection becomes possible. I am learning to value myself and to set boundaries that will protect me from future harm.

Ultimately, this approach is better for everyone involved. It allows others to live their lives without the burden of my unreciprocated feelings and emotional needs. They can focus on their own paths, just as I focus on mine. It creates space for each of us to grow and evolve independently. When and if our paths cross again, it will be from a place of mutual respect and understanding, not from a place of emotional imbalance and unfulfilled expectations.

So, I choose to live in my imagination, to nurture my relationship with myself, and to focus on my own growth and well-being. It’s a decision that honors my needs and protects my heart. And in doing so, it creates a healthier dynamic for everyone involved. By working on myself and allowing others to do the same, I am paving the way for more authentic and fulfilling connections in the future. This, I believe, is the best course of action for my emotional health and well-being.

In the vast tapestry of my existence, I find myself drawn to the realms of imagination, where the boundaries of reality blur and possibilities abound. It is within this ethereal landscape that I seek refuge, a sanctuary from the tumultuous currents of the world. Here, amidst the whispers of my thoughts and the echoes of my dreams, I am free to explore the depths of my soul and discover the truths that elude me in the harsh light of day. In my imagination, I am the architect of my destiny, sculpting my reality with the power of my thoughts and the strength of my will. It is a realm where the concept of time holds no sway, and where the past, present, and future converge in a symphony of infinite potential.

It's not that I'm afraid of judgments; I'm not afraid of negotiation and rejection. I want a healthy, dynamic girl with me. If I'm providing someone with what they deserve, I believe I deserve the same. Even if not fully, at least half. But Why should I have to negotiate here? If I deserve something, it should be mine. I'm not afraid to achieve new heights or to conquer my anxiety, depression, or rejection. I am me. I am the one. To me, I am my own god. It's in my hands. I'm not saying I'm the supreme power—no, no, no, not like that. I'm the god of my own life. Of course, there's one God, and to me, my God is Krishna. He has always been with me forever. No matter what the situation is, He will always show me direction. But after Him, I believe I have the power to change anything. God's word is that karma is in our hands. Karma can change our future and ourselves. My karma is to be myself, to develop myself, to be in self-imagination. My imagination has the power to create a better future. My imagination has the power to grow. If I don't imagine something, how can I build it? Even artists need the imagination to create something. If something meant to be blah, blah, blah ends up being a masterpiece, then that's luck. But how many people have luck? I don't really believe in luck. Maybe 20% of me believes in it, but does that 20% really strike? If I'm providing you my best version, my softer version, my version of love, it means I don't want you to see my aggro version, because you won't be able to handle that, mister. I Promise.

Central to my journey through this labyrinth of imagination is my faith in the divine guidance of Lord Krishna, the eternal charioteer of my soul. In His divine presence, I find solace and inspiration, a guiding light that illuminates the path before me and leads me ever closer to the truth. His teachings resonate deep within my being, echoing the eternal truths of love, compassion, and selflessness. Through His grace, I am reminded of the sacred interconnectedness of all beings, and the importance of living a life guided by virtue and righteousness.

But even as I find comfort in the embrace of Lord Krishna, I am acutely aware of the challenges that lie ahead. The journey of self-discovery is fraught with obstacles, and the road to enlightenment is often shrouded in darkness. Yet, it is precisely in the face of adversity that the true strength of the soul is revealed. With each trial and tribulation, I am reminded of the resilience of the human spirit, and the infinite capacity for growth and transformation that lies within each of us.

As I navigate the labyrinth of my imagination, I am constantly reminded of the importance of staying true to myself and remaining steadfast in my pursuit of truth and enlightenment. It is a journey of self-discovery, of unraveling the mysteries of existence and uncovering the hidden depths of my soul. And though the path may be long and arduous, I take comfort in the knowledge that I am never alone. For in the heart of my imagination, I am surrounded by the divine presence of Lord Krishna, guiding me ever onward towards the ultimate destination: the realization of my true self.